You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
this just has baby written all over it
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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