it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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