Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
