If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
