I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i would punch a child for taco bell
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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