Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I need to calm my uterus...
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize