i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Randomize
