bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
i want to swaddle you in tequila
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
