Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
