you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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