I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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