Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
