using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
