I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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