my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Randomize
