Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
my poor anus
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
