First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
