Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
