Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
