id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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