But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
