just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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