so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
