Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
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