my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
