Cold hands, warm shart.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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