i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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