In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
