ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Randomize
