found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
vagina is talking i cant
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize