Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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