why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
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