i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
