I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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