Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
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