I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
