I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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