you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
