Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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