I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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