He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize