it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
this hospital has no fireball
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
