I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
