I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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