Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
