Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
whose ass print is on the piano?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
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