my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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