i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
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