I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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