I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
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