I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
