my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
