This girl is more easily done than said...
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize