I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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