She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Randomize
