do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
