Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
My cat gives me a boner
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
