That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
