your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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