Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
